A few months ago, at a dinner table in France, I was part of a discussion about an Indian woman who has climbed the professional ladder with amazing efficiency and is today almost at the pinnacle of success in her field. My fellow diners that day included this lady’s professor (and mine) who herself has made a name for herself in the same field, even though she does not quite the same kind of clout as her erstwhile student.
As the discussion grew and we forayed into the debate of women’s independence and their right to an independent and successful career even if they got married and had children, my professor remarked on how it is easier for Indian women to build a career. Defensive immediately I questioned the comment, saying that a majority of Indian women even today were oppressed and had to fight for even the basic right to education, so where was the question of it being easy for them to work? She pointed out that she was not referring to that class of women which was oppressed and didn’t enjoy the right to have any other profession than that of a homemaker. She was talking about women like her student (and me) whose families encouraged them to study and even if they had to fight to pursue their dreams to realisation, once they had the family behind them, there was little other hindrance. All we had to do was study or work towards our goal – the house, the family, children if any were taken care of by the family. It got me thinking – how many “career women” in India actually come home after a long day at work to do any housework (not taking into consideration the existence of a husband who ought to help and share the burden)? Even if there isn’t a mother or mother-in-law at home to ensure that house continues to run on well-oiled wheels, there is an entire army of domestic help starting from the maid who comes into to sweep and mop the house to the cook who will ensure there are three freshly cooked meals on the table and probably even a gardener and chauffeur if the woman can afford it. My professor, who is probably as financially well-off as this lady we were discussing could and even now can never even dream of this kind of a support system.
Back home, I can’t help but notice the pride in women who have a career and how they seem to think they are completely independent. But are we (note, I do not hold myself apart from the rest of them)? Can we really make it without the support system we are so accustomed to? I look at myself, who is still not completely financially independent and cannot even think of moving out of the house, and wonder how I’d manage if I had to live alone, without my mother there to pack my lunch box in the morning, ensure I had my multi-vitamins when I am not well. I wonder how we’d manage without the maids who come in daily to clean our house and I’m filled with a sense of shame almost, more so when I see one of our maids who is barely 19, pregnant with her first child and goes to three houses to sweep, mop, wash clothes and vessels….and I wonder, can I really call myself an independent woman of the 21st century?
