The table next to me is dirty, smudged with white-board marker stains. The board itself could be replaced. The window panes in front of me are broken and the curtains are full of dust. I see a lizard creeping out from behind the junk dumped in one corner of the room…and I’m glad this is my last day in class.
Am I? Glad? Really?
I don’t know.
Taking a step back, I change my focus and my eyes now fall on the text book I had bought in 2007 because I always like to have my own copy of the book I’m using in class. I have used this one only twice. I see the CDs of music which are always in my bag, au cas où...my students writing oh-so-seriously today, every now and then looking up at me and mouthing out their favorite sentence “Ce n’est pas facile mademoiselle…”
MADEMOISELLE.
I will miss being called mademoiselle by all those students. I will miss admonishing them every time they call me Madame and seeing them laugh and correct themselves. I will miss interacting with them, breaking my head over the difference between Passé Composé and Imparfait, sharing with them anecdotes from previous classes and what I love (and don’t love) about French culture, telling them that it is important to read in French and to try and be more cohérent in their discourse. I will miss discussing their histrionics with my colleagues.
I am at the crossroads, but there is no hesitation in my heart. I know the path I will choose. I have already chosen it. From mademoiselle to corporate mademoiselle, it's been an interesting journey. I have learnt a lot, grown and truly come into my own under this roof. But it is time to move on. The change is huge, and I steel my heart as I take this step. I can’t help but remember the lines of my favorite poem at this moment :
The woods are lovely , dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep.
And miles to go before I sleep.
And so, with a tremor in my hands, I close the French book and lay it aside and pick up the book on visual design and usability.
4 comments:
Godspeed along the path, Mademoiselle. May you look back on these satisfying years with joy in your heart and a smile on your gentle face! We certainly shall, we assure you!
You wont have to turn back and look at what you will be missing, not for long! coz i am sure you will come back soon, very soon :)
Hmmm, honestly, good luck along your chosen road -the one less travelled by? And at least you can say that you have a lot of good memories to look back on... Add to that the students who stay in touch, and you'll continue to have even their histrionics :)
"c'est bizarre non?"
- votre ligne preffere :)
Bonne Chance Mademoiselle!
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